Is it a rule?

Airlines have a law I know they do. If you have a middle seat you must have a large man on one side and a hyper teen on the other. Large man must turn pages of several magazine with great force for maxium annoyance factor. Hyper teen must keep beat with booted shoe on your ankle. Neither are allowed to share the arm rest. Although boney elbowed hyper teen weighed less than onea my arms so she’s lucky I didn’t protest cause I coulda taken her! But arrived in Michigan safe and sound.
It’s taken me 5 tries to make this post show up! Apparently the airlines don’t want you to know about the middle seat rules!