Life Changes In A Split Second
I debated a long time with this post. First, just whether to even write it or not. But, in the almost 8 years I’ve been writing Peanut Butter and Whine, it’s been an ever-changing blog. I’ve always written what was on my mind (ha, or what’s left of it anyway!) and what’s happening in my life.
So, today you get the Cliff Notes version. I explain more, add my thoughts and my new understanding of well……. basically how bad it sucks to get old.
On Friday December 22 at 6:00 pm I went to my Mom’s granny flat at the back of our house to check on her as is my usual routine. I found her on the floor with a vacant stare and her arm horribly mangled behind her head. So still and lifeless I truly believed she was gone. Life CHANGES! In A SPLIT second. I went from wrapping Christmas gifts to directing paramedics in a span of 5 minutes.
Here starts my first episode of guilt. I have no way of knowing how long she had been laying there. Guilt.
From several hours in the ER to being moved into Intensive Care Unit at Tri City Hospital in Oceanside California for two days.
Prognosis: Let’s see. Massive heart-attack. Sepsis. Shattered left arm. The doctors can’t do a an Angiogram Mom wouldn’t make it through the procedure because of the Sepsis. The shattered bones in her arm was the lowest priority, because again, she wouldn’t live through the surgery. The only test they could safely do was a CT scan of the heart which showed damage. A lot of damage. One ventricle not pumping at all. The other barely pumping. Drugs were given, tubes inserted. All to maintain life.
Christmas Eve I had to make the decision about life support. Right here. Right now. If you take any of my advice ever this is the MOST IMPORTANT one!!! Make your advance directive. What YOU want to do if you are ever in the position of maintaining life via machine or be allowed to die. TELL all your family. LET THEM KNOW!! Leaving these things to you children SUCKS!! It’s not fair. So let’s pile on to my guilt. (YEAH YEAH I know…. let’s take my Mom’s condition and make it about me. HEY!! I do see the irony!! But, it’s my whine and I am taking it!!)
Life support was removed on Christmas Eve.
Christmas Day the decision was made to bring Mom home.
I’m writing this the day after Christmas as I sit here watching my Mom sleep and I can’t believe all this happened in 4 days. WHAT THE HELL!??!?!
More soon. Thanks for letting me whine. AGAIN!!
15 Comments
Tamra Phelps
Three years later, this post still gets me. So many of the things you were going through I had been through a few months before with my Mom, and unknown to me, would go through myself a month later.
Terra Heck
Oh wow, that is a lot to take in. You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. I lost my mom almost two years ago but not before having to take care of her for two years. I wrote about it on my blog because it was a big part of my life, and it’s totally okay for you to write about it as well.
Karen R
Connie, I am so sorry. I cannot imagine. You are strong. You know what your Mother would want. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself.
Nancy C
I’m so sorry Connie. It’s so hard what you’re going through. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Sarah L
As far as I’m concerned, it is about YOU. And this is the place to whine that you made for yourself and others. Advance directives should be something that you do as soon as you can. Maybe a doctor’s office should have them easily available for everyone who comes in.
Sending warm thoughts your way.
Tamra Phelps
I am so truly sorry you’re going through this, Connie. It is so close to what happened with my Mom. (She fell & broke her leg, they had no choice but to try the surgery–but her heart & lungs just could not handle it. She was on a ventilator just over a week before we had to make the decision to remove her from the machines.) You’re right. Life changes in a split second. This is a living nightmare at any time, but for it to happen around the holidays just seems that much worse. I’ll be thinking of your family & saying a little prayer for all of you! (And let go of that guilt! It’s obvious you ALWAYS did the best for your Mom!)
angie
NO words. I am sending you all of the loving, healing, peaceful energy I have to do with what you need. xoxo
Connie Gruning
Thank you Angie. {{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Rosie
Connie, I’m so sorry to hear this, and I’m glad you posted. Your mom has been blessed to have a daughter like you to watch out for her. Prayers for you and your family.
Kate Sarsfield
Oh Connie, I can’t believe she’s gone. Sorry, lost for words.
Tena
Thinking of you and sending prayers.
Maryann D.
So sorry to hear this news. I went through my parents health issues a few years ago and it was tough. They lived to 90 and 93 years old, so I should be happy that I had them that long. My mother in law is 90 now and going through a hard time also. Most of us do understand what you are going through. Take care of yourself.
Connie Gruning
That’s why I posted. You guys have become my extended family. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
michele
I understand completely…As we all sit here on this day we cannot even imagine what the new year can and might bring…Planning is all well and good but just like that your life and those you love can alter the best laid plans….You are in my prayers daily….
Maureen
Thinking of you and your family.
I understand how fast something can change your life.
Two months ago is when things happened for my family.