I Didn’t Realize………

This morning it really hit home how much time I have on my hands now.  Alice is in school until 2:30. Mom doesn’t need me anymore. I have the entire morning to……. ummm pack? That’s all??  Just pack?!  And clean?? I can’t do it.  I need the release that writing my blog posts gives me. It’s more like writing to my friends and telling you about my day.

Today I am wondering where my energy will come from to start packing again?! I packed a little before Thanksgiving. Then the fires came way to close for comfort so we were in the ‘get ready to evacuate’ area so I hurriedly packed up irreplaceable items.  UGH! Not cleaned, dusted or carefully wrapped and boxes marked… just packed and in the truck. I’m so counting those as packed boxes though!! I didn’t unpack them I just put them in the pile to go to Idaho. Then Christmas came around and ya can’t pack during Christmas! Right?? Isn’t it illegal in some states??  Then Mom.

Then Mom.

Then Mom.

Now it’s January, The Husband is headed back to Idaho and  I’m back to looking at overly stuffed closets. Book shelves and knick knacks. At this point I’m wondering when in the last 35 years I dusted?? Have I ever dusted??  In closets I’m finding craft items still in the package and some still in shopping bags and wondering ‘what the hell was this gonna be??‘ Now, I can’t possibly throw it away IT’s NEW! I can’t give it away because I will probably use it sometime in 23 years and then I won’t have to buy one. Yes, I know… it makes me a hoarder. I can’t help it! My Grandfather and my Dad both were horrible hoarders!! It’s in my bones!!  (That’s my excuse and I’m stickin’ to it)

Okay, I’ve sat here long enough……… time to do something productive even if it’s just getting dressed!!

Yesterday I said I wasn’t sure I would continue the blog…… your comments were so sweet and so encouraging that I am reminded why I love my blog. I say it over and over and I will say it again; I love my PBnWhine family! YOU are ALL AMAZING!!!  I love you all.


  • Rosie

    I found out this morning I don’t have so much to pack. Perps broke into our complex and raided the storage bins both Saturday and came back Sunday. Mine was one they broke the door and stole stuff, I was talking to the police in my fuzzy bathrobe. They could come back again! I hope they catch them. I’m glad I didn’t go downstairs at night, who know if they would have attacked a little senior like me.

  • Sab Edwards

    Yeah when I was off work for 4 months to heal after surgery I totally went nuts. I was home by myself and I am not messy so its not like I destroy the house then have to clean up for 8hrs after myself each day, cooking only takes so long, you only have so many clothes you can wash every day etc etc…SUMMER wasn’t bad as I could garden etc but when I was off during the winter, when it was -45C like it is today…man, I have no idea what people do all day long with their time when they have no one else at home with them.

  • Tamra Phelps

    Hang in there, Connie. It’s been almost 6 months since I lost my Mom & I can truthfully say it just takes time to even feel capable of doing anything productive. At first, I felt like all the energy had been knocked out of me. I knew the things I needed to do but I just could not force myself to MOVE. I still have times, like once or twice a day, where I feel like crying. But I get through it & I get things done. And I have times, every day, where I laugh, & yes, I’m happy. Emotions, ya know, lol. They are a rollercoaster ride.

    • Connie Gruning

      Thank you Tamra, sometimes I have to catch myself because I’ll think “Oh dang I need to check on Mom, I need to get her meds…. I need……”
      THANK YOU!! Tamra.

  • Rosie

    Connie, prayers for you and your family the loss of your dear mom. I wanted to tell you the saga with the fire marshall’s office. I kept calling and calling them, and also the town manager’s office. Finally, the fire marshall did go out to look. He told our property mgr that someone complained, and when they didn’t make our complex correct the violation, that the anonymous complainer (me) went to the state level with the complaint, and that the state fire marshall came down hard on him. So, he was forced to tell them to correct the violation. We pay some of the highest taxes in the country in our town (hello Idaho – low taxes maybe??), and can’t believe the negative attitude from the town officials! There have been many fires at the complexes! It is a good thing it was anonymous, because the board was outraged someone complained and they are on a witch hunt to find out who did it. However, they already did a partial correction on one of the fire code violations already, and last night was the first night in 5 months (and dozens of calls) I could sleep through the night without getting up and checking – it was a very dangerous violation.

  • Tena

    Connie, I love your blog. All my thoughts and prayers to you to for all you have been through and the upcoming adventures as well. It’s great to keep in touch.

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