Seriously?! Where Is Mom??

Whine alert. Death is a racket. It’s expensive. It’s heart wrenching. It’s stressful and it sucks ass. My Mom has been gone 3 weeks today.

I was so impressed with our Hospice experience through Silverado. The folks there were 100% on their toes. Customer service was amazing. THOUGHTFUL and continual. I never felt alone.

On the other hand, I am a million times unimpressed with The Trident Society. They are everything that Silverado is not.

Several years ago The Husband and I were approached about cremation services. The Trident Society sent out a representative that made us feel this was the GOLD STANDARD!! The best company to use. We signed up. We also (on the sly) signed up my Mom. We felt great about our decision.

The Trident Society will pick up the body anywhere in the world. They will handle everything!!  They will make a stressful, sad time easier to bear.

Everything will be done with the utmost care, respect and sympathy. Someone from the Trident Society will even hand deliver the ashes and place them in the urn for you.

What would be better and more helpful than that!?

In truth?? Follow through sucked.

Yes, they did send out someone to retrieve Mom. They indeed where very respectful, arrived in black suits. Tenderly took Mom.  I was still impressed. I was still happy with The Trident Society.

That’s where customer service stopped.

After Mom was picked up………… no one contacted me. No one gave me a time estimate when Mom’s ashes would arrive back to us. Absolutely NO ONE contacted me.  I waited a week. They could be busy. Maybe Southern California had a rush on cremation services??  The sales man did say 7 to 10 days for cremation. Maybe they will call to schedule Mom’s return soon. Right?

I’m a patient person. Lord knows I have a lot of details to take care of anyway.

Finally, I had to call the 800#.  I had to wait for calls back. The person in charge of our account was always busy or on the phone, away from her desk, off today……… blah blah blah.

THREE WEEKS today and Mom is still not back. I called again. Again. Again.

A message on my phone today (Friday 1/19/18) says that I can drive down to San Diego on Monday to pick up my Mom.

Wait? What!? What happened to the respectful, helpful, caring person that was supposed to arrive with Mom’s ashes and caringly, lovingly put Mom in her urn?!

Another phone call. Oh yes, we can deliver the ashes to you. We will MAIL THEM TO YOU on Monday.

They are MAILING my Mom to me on Monday. My Mom is getting MAILED TO ME?! MAILED?!  The phone calls were early enough that someone could MAIL her today….. so I don’t believe that cremation has even happened yet.

Monday?! So, where has my Mom been sitting for 3 weeks?  Why can’t I have her today!?

Everything seems so unorganized that I have doubts that the ashes will really be MY Mom!  (Yes, my mind did go there. I also have images of my head that they spread her ashes at sea…… they lost Mom….. they haven’t even started the cremation processes. My mind is full conspiracy theory’s).

Not cool.  NOT COOL at ALL!!!!!!!!

Not impressed with The Trident Society at all!!

Huge sigh….. I got that off my chest.  Thank you for listening reading.

But really, they are mailing my Mom?! How many stamps do you think she will take?  Dang, I sure hope she doesn’t get lost in the mail……. what if the mail man punctures the box? Will Mom be here to San Diego in a long stream of ashes??  How long will it take for her to arrive?  Do they send her Priority? Do they send her Fedex? Maybe the UPS man will bring her?!

I betcha that Miss Kitty’s ashes will come home before my Mom does.

Just NOT COOL!!!


  • CJ

    God that’s horrible…. My father was cremated and we have him on our mantle at home. Although our experience went well, I have to admit I have wondered if it really is my father in the urn, or if it was just another expense that was put on the bill – so you are not alone in having that thought cross your mind. Death is a business to a lot of these people, and even though they say they will be sensitive, eventually they become desensitized to it because they have to deal with it all the time. I am very sorry for what you went through. 🙁

  • polly

    Connie I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Unacceptable on their part. No words how they would do this to a grieving family. Once again I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom. <3

  • Rosie

    Who would have ever thought something like this would happen. I’m so sorry you are going through this on top of so many other things. Hopefully you can get you mom back as soon as possible.

  • Kate Sarsfield

    Wait a minute, let me get my breath back after reading that … I mean WTF??? I’m not used to your customs of dying, death, burial, memorials, grief… but that is appalling customer service, to say nothing of the piling on of anxiety, stress and upset. Connie, if only you had called me … I am terrific at sorting things out, at putting people in their place and of letting them know exactly what is expected of them. You signed a goddamn contract & this is how you get treated? There are now two routes to choose from; you can either go with their suggestion and just hope for the best, or, you can start shouting about it and voicing your feelings. Whichever way you go, know that Helen is at peace, that you will always be as good a daughter as you can possibly be and work from there.

  • Tamra Phelps

    Wow, there’s no excuse for that kind of incompetence, especially when you are dealing with the remains of a human being, someone loved (& still loved) by the people waiting for their return. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this!

  • Selena R Price

    What a complete shit show this company is – absolute nightmare. They present themselves as a reputable company, they show up dressed nicely, handle the remains respectfully in front of the distraught family and then what? Throw her in a cold storage until after the holidays? Do you know how long a 7-10 day turnaround is IT’S 7 TO 10 DAYS. Not 11 and certainly not 22 days with no follow up or even a return call in response to the many, many phone calls placed by the family. Then to find out the US Postal carrier will be the loving hands delivering her? I’m sorry Trident Society, what is your back up plan if nana is stolen by Porch Pirates? Got a spare urn laying around do you? That is, if we are actually getting OUR relative back. Who know what this company is really doing. YELP certainly doesn’t have nice things to say. My guess is that GG’s cat that passed a week later arrives from her cremation service before GG. #TridentSocietyFAIL #TridentSocietyTotalShitShow

  • karen albert winslow

    We pre-reg my ex at the Cremation Soc of Illinois which also has regular funeral home services. Yes we do know someone that works there BUT we had used them for my mother years before. Being the first time for my daughter & myself the agent did a great job explaining everything with prices and what we did & did not need. Having gone thru it all at a funeral home in Wisc a few years before for my dad I already knew some of what was going on so that made it easier. I wanted my daughter to take the lead so she would get what she wanted for her father. I guess what Im trying to say is that these services are widely available at most funeral homes ahead of time and you will get much better service than you will from some huge company that will never sees you again. Please try to get your money back and make other arrangements local. You may still have to go pick up but you will treated much better & with kindness. Funeral homes are better equipped to handle your emotional needs than a big faceless corporation.

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