Monica The Telemarketer

Getting Rid Of Telemarketers

Today was FUN!!!

Just had a spam caller for 10 free days of tv something. ROFLMAO NORMALLY I hang up and block nottttt today!  Especially since I’ve had the same pitch every. single. day. this week!! So, blocking for this one only sends me off to the next desk over.

So, first I started with “no that’s not my name” I did the whole “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you” Then the “You are with WHO??”

AND THEN

I hit this gal like a 3-year-old hyped up on a box of ding dongs and ghetto Kool Aide (my son Zacs recipe. 4 cups of sugar, 1 packet Kool Aide and 2 cups of water).
In rapid fire….. I don’t have a tv. No, I can’t watch on my phone.  I have a flip phone.
She wasn’t even phased.
Soooooooo then the light bulb went on and I started having more fun.
What’s your name? will someone come over and visit me?  I live alone. Will they bring me a new tv? Did I win a TV?!?? Ohhh, ohhhh what’s your name? Hi, Monica, are you married? Monica, do you have kids?
All the time she is still reading from her script.  (or at she is trying! I’m just bull dozing over her)
Ohhh ohhh ohhh Monica wait! wait! waaaaaaaaait!! Monica! Monica! Monica!
what? 
Are you my friend? Can we be friends I don’t have a new friend named Monica. Monica, can we go to lunch? Would you pick me up?? Monica! Monica!! They won’t let me drive. You have to come inside though. They won’t let me check myself out.
She’s still trying to talk.
Wait, wait, wait! Monica!!  Did you see Friends Monica? Monica and Chandler got married did you know that?
Then Monica hung up.
I guess we aren’t going to lunch. 😩
If you don’t want to have fun. You can sign up for the Do Not Call Registry This did work for me for awhile. But, the telemarketers seem to find a way.  I think after a while you fall off the registry so I re-registered today.
Poor Monica. I wonder if she will miss me?
What’s the longest you’ve kept a telemarketer on the phone??
I used to give Granddaughter Alice the phone when she was 3 or 4.  That was fun. “Alice! Wanna talk to your new best friend?!”
Ahhhhhh the things that make me happy. I’m still laughing. Poor Monica, I imagine she needed a coffee break after my phone call.
For the record the picture isn’t me. It’s how I like to picture Monica when she finally hung up on me.

8 Comments

  • Shannon Victoria Holmes

    LOL! This is so funny. I remember when I worked in sales, I pretty much cussed one out for calling me on my work line.

    • Connie The Head Peanut

      What a horrible way to make a living. Can you imagine how bad your self-esteem would be at the end of the day?! So many rejections. Of course, they must do well since there are so many of them.

  • Tamra Phelps

    Lol, that sounds like fun. I once pretended to be a kid whose ‘Mommy’ wasn’t home to talk, ha! It must be horrible to be a telemarketer. Who ever thought that was a good way to sell anything??

    • Connie The Head Peanut

      It would absolutely be the worst. In my early 20’s I worked for a telemarketing company selling funeral plots. I don’t think I lasted the whole day. I am pretty sure I went to lunch and never went back. It was HORRIBLE!!

    • Connie The Head Peanut

      Ohhhhhhhhhh that’s funny!!!! I may have to try that one too. Now it makes me wish I hadn’t registered with the Do Not Call list. LOL!!

  • heather

    This post is a total crack up. I registered our telephone number with the National Do Not Call Regestry but we still get telemarketers. I am so going to use some of your lines next time they call. I like to speak in a different language sometimes it’s funny!

    • Connie The Head Peanut

      Ohhhhhhhh I so wish I knew another language. OMGEEEEEE that would be fun. I’ve decided that if they call back I’m going to talk about Monica. How much we bonded. How we are going to lunch……. I think I can do a whole hour on this one! (insert evil laugh here!)

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