If you are new here Friday December 22 my Mom had a massive heart attack. I decided to write about my journey, wait, my Mom’s journey? Well, however we classify it. This is a Hospice story from my point of view.
This post was written on the 28th of December. Day 4. At 3:45 am December 29th my Mom passed away. I had a ‘feeling’ when it was time and that she was slipping away. I stayed by her bed holding her hand and talking to her as she passed away. It was peaceful. Mom is pain free now.
I will continue my string of posts about her care for a few more days, I think.
Hospice has been and WAS the best option for ME and for MY family. Like I said yesterday, before Christmas Day I had no idea what Hospice really meant except maybe a movie version.
Silverado Hospice allowed me to bring Mom home and let her pass at home with the people that love her the most.
The day we brought her home, the 26th of December Mom smiled a real smile. Because of the tubes in her throat before she hadn’t been able to talk. She has since talked for about 2 minutes, real sentences. She knew she fell but was confused about the details. She thought it was her hip, that she broke in August. When we told her she broke her arm this time she said “I DID?!?”
The second time she was coherent I told her she had a heart attack and broken arm. I told her I brought her home on Hospice. She smiled. It’s a small thing but I am (yes, I may be grasping at straws here) but, I am taking that as I made the right move. She always told me not to hook her up to machines. After her hip in August she stated so many times she never wanted to go back to the hospital again. If that is your philosophy WRITE IT DOWN!!! Don’t make your loved ones have to make decisions like this. Cause the GUILT sucks!! I what if myself into tears hourly. What if I left her hooked up to machines and in 6 hours, 6 days or 6 months she DID fully recover?
She still opens her eyes and stares, sometimes there is recognition sometimes not. I constantly talk to her I read the blog as I write. I know she is probably screaming in head “OH WILL YOU JUST BE QUIET so I CAN REST ALREADY!?!?” Ummmm hello? Have we met. I talk. I talk a lot and you my dear Mother are a captive audience.
Hospice provides support. A LOT of support. Lisa our RN actually just called “I’m calling to check on the FAMILY!” Not just my Mom but all of us! I swear that woman makes me cry every time!
So, while Hospice provides support the family has to do some heavy lifting in between the visits. Sponge bath, administer drugs. Seriously?? I’m in charge of Morphine! Did you know that Morphine comes in a liquid that you put in the mouth? I had no idea. Monitoring Moms facial expressions I give her anywhere from 20cc and under . It must just melt in her mouth because there is never any choking or gagging. It takes about 30 minutes for Mom to relax again. So, we are on an every 2 hour dosing right now. Yes, that means setting 2 hour alarms for the night.
After the Morphine comes the LORazempam. It’s a tablet, crush it up add water and then into the syringe. It must taste BAD cause I get a scowl after that one. Then comes the Tylenol for fever. It’s a suppository. Yeah….. ahhhh well, it’s enough to say that after 2 days Mom’s temperature is now down to normal.
The hospital left the catheter in. But the bag needs emptying. Mom needs to be turned even if it’s just every so slightly every 4 hours to keep her from getting bed sores.
I promise I’m not
complaining whining. (well, not too much anyway!) I am trying, in my way to explain what Hospice days and nights are like. I am truly counting this as a blessing. I am getting extra time with my Mom without being in an uncomfortable hospital setting. We put the hospital bed next to her bed and I’m sleeping there. With a CAT! A cat that hates me, mind you. She bit me last night, she doesn’t like me in Mom’s bed.
It’s time a nap I think. More tomorrow. Thank you again Peanuts for all the love, support and prayers!