Want a cookie???

I have such a funny story from my son Zachary it’s still crackin’ me up. I laughed till I was crying I only hope I can write it as funny as Zac was telling it.  
Zac’s neighbor Keith is 100% a crack up.  Zac and Keith have been friends since Zac moved to this house last year.  I don’t think Keith owns a clock or a watch though.
Zac gets off work, settles in on the couch and starts watching TV,  falls asleep.  His phone wakes him up…. Zac figures he’s only been asleep a few minutes, he answers the phone, it’s Keith
K “Hey, you got a half a cup of flour I can have? I’m making cookies”
Z “No, I don’t have any flour”
K “Just a half a cup”
Z “Keith I don’t have ANY flour”
K “Okay I’ll be right over”
Z looks at his phone and ‘wtf?’ So Zac goes out side to have a cigarette, looks at his phone and realizes it’s 12:30 at night!! Here comes Keith marching like he is leading a marching band down the street with a bright red half cup measuring cup (Keith lives RIGHT DIRECTLY across the street…. yet he is coming from the top of the hill with his cup in hand)
K “thanks man”
Z “KEITH I DO NOT have any f&^%’n flour!!”
K slides the measuring cup over the porch banister with the back of his hand like he is a spy in a movie and whispers “just a half a cup!  What do you like in your oatmeal cookies?”
Z “I don’t like oatmeal cookies”
K “raisins?”
Z “No I don’t like raisins and I don’t like oatmeal cookies”
K “Chocolate chips?”
Z “I like chocolate chips”
K “Okay can I get a half a cup of chocolate chips?”
Zachary turned around and went in the  house “Keith go home. Go to bed”
Keith turns around heads home leaving the measuring cup on the porch.
Next morning Zac leaves to go to work and this package is on the porch…………. the picture doesn’t do it justice Zac said it’s the consistency of runny eggs after it sat on his porch ALL day!!  Zac said it looked soooo bad at 7am he couldn’t stomach picking up the foil and throwing it out.

In case you can’t read the note it says “it has pez candy, gum and dry chips in it”
I had to ask Dry Chips??  What are dry chips??  Dry chips are tortilla chips. 
Anyway… want a cookie???

One Comment

  • Rosie

    This is hysterical and gross!!! I wonder if Keith was high on something. These cookies sound like something a kindergartner might like to use for add-ins!!!

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