Newlyweds

Weddings And Financial Stress

https://www.lilybridal.de/If you are a regular here you know that our oldest daughter just got married a little over 2 month ago. It was a beautiful day start to finish. There were tons of people that attended and wished the couple a lifetime of happiness.
It got me to thinking; have you ever stopped and thought about how much money YOU have spent to attend other couples weddings?! I know when we were younger and money was stretched to the limit we would argue about attending weddings because of the cost!

Think about it the cost of being a wedding guest can run high. Between the cost of getting to the wedding to the new outfit to wear to the wedding! You’re in big trouble if you’re dressing the kids too. Beauty salon visits for a hair trim.  I don’t know about you but I can’t go with ugly toes; so there’s the cost of a pedicure and since I’m there we might as well get a manicure too. All that and I haven’t even thought about how much to spend on the GIFT yet!! When you add all that up for the years of weddings; well it can make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

Experian’s latest survey suggests that the rising cost of weddings is rocking the boat for many couples, and not just for the bride and groom. In fact, almost a quarter of Britons (22%) have argued with their partner about the cost of witnessing others tie the knot.

Everyone knows that managing your finances and your relationship can be quite a balancing act; it doesn’t matter if you are in a new relationship or a retired couple life in general is truly a balancing act!

That’s why the folks at Experian have created a dedicated Money & Relationships Guide to help people understand what we know can be quite a complex series of topics – in jargon-free, easy-to-understand language. All of the guides are available online. Hopefully these guides will be helpful for you and your followers who are trying to get their heads around how credit referencing works, and the good, the bad and the surprising when it comes to managing your finances to get what you want in life.

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One in four Britons has argued with their partner about the cost of watching others say ‘I do’

The findings also reveal that one in six people (17%) who are in a relationship are missing the nuptials of loved ones because they cannot afford to attend. This equates to more than one guest at each table, which is double the number of single people (8%), who have declined invitations.

More than one in ten people in relationships (11%) have spent over £800 each on attending weddings, compared to just 6% of single people. Meanwhile, 4%, equating to almost a million Brits*, report having spent more than £2,000 participating in other people’s weddings over the last year.

The survey also suggests that weddings can cause further financial friction when it comes to dividing the cost. While nearly eight in 10 (77%) couples always choose to split the cost, almost one in five (17%), foot the entire bill for both to attend the wedding of their own friends and family, while their partner does the same for their nearest and dearest.

James Jones, head of consumer affairs at Experian, commented: “Attending the wedding of family and friends should be great fun. However, for many ‘wedding season’ has become a source of financial pressure and domestic strife. The research suggests that at each UK wedding, there is an average of one person missing because they cannot meet the spiraling cost of attending nuptials – an obvious disappointment for hosts and guests alike.

“While racking up debt has often been seen as the price to pay for holding the wedding of your dreams, it now seems that many guests are also suffering financial stress. Sitting down with your partner to put some thought into your budget at the beginning of ‘wedding season’ is advisable. Discussing not just how much you can afford, but also how you’re going to pay for it can help avoid arguments in the run up to the big day and make sure you come out the other end without a nasty financial hangover.”

The research goes on to reveal that one in 20 (5%) guests have had to borrow money in order to attend a wedding. Of those, a huge 78% of people have formally borrowed funds, including:
44% have had to use their credit card, increasing to a surprising 62% among 45-54 year olds
17% took out a formal loan, rising to 41% for those aged 25-34 years old
17% extended their overdraft
12% have tapped into their savings
Here is a scary one: almost one in three (31%) of those borrowing money to attend weddings have no clear plan to pay it back or have never even thought about it. The trend is even more concerning in some regions. In the North East, the number jumps to 80%, while 74% of people in East Anglia have not considered the long-term consequences of borrowing.

Here are few DO reminders:

Set the ground rules. Do you want a joint account for regular expenses and separate bank accounts for personal spending? Or do you want everything to go together?
Work out who does what. The more frugal partner could look after the budget, while the more extravagant works out the ‘treats’, like meals out or trips away.
Agree on short and long-term goals and how you’re going to achieve them, and review regularly together.
Be honest about your past. If you have a less-than-perfect history of repaying money you owe, this could affect both of you in the long-term if your credit reports become linked.
Take time together to understand if you need to improve one or both of your credit reports. Do this well in advance of applying for credit together.

Here are few DON’T reminders!
Don’t spend all your time together talking about money!!
No keeping secrets. Research from Experian shows that 29% of people in the UK discovered that their partner was keeping credit card debt from them.
Don’t dig yourself into a hole. If you find yourself in debt, don’t borrow more in the hope of putting things right. Ask for help and be open about it with your partner.
Another get rule is don’t talk about money issues when you are angry. Arguing about money is never going to be productive
One of the best hints is don’t expect your partner to completely change. It’s unlikely an extravagant spender will do a complete about-turn and suddenly become frugal; no matter how hard you wish for it.

Research was carried out online by Canadian in August 2015, and used a sample of 2,000 UK adults.

* This figure has been calculated using the ONS figures for the total number of weddings in England and Wales (2012) and the average number of wedding guests, statistic attained from the You & Your Wedding Survey (2015).

13 Comments

  • Sandra Watts

    That is crazy! We didn’t spend any more than we could pay out. I didn’t want to pay for our wedding for years to come. It is just crazy the cost of having and attending too.

  • Elaine Buonsante

    My adult son was invited to at least 5 wedding last year! He was in the bridal party at a destination wedding for one friend. Since he was only working part time and paying off student loans he opted for a less costly wedding gift in order to witness the nuptials of his good friends.

  • Rosie

    so many young ppl already have large student debt, they shouldn’t feel cornered to be paying more than they should. I do know couples that had a huge wedding figuring they would make big bucks from the guests that would more than offset the cost. I would discourage that line of thought! I would never spend more than I could afford, and would shop ahead for anything for something to wear, etc, probably from a thrift shop, there is a thrift shop in my area specially for weddings, mother of the bride, flower girl, bride, etc!

  • Marnie G (Derrick Todd)

    Weddings have become very opulent and overindulgent. I’m curious as to what the average amount spent on a gift or cash has increased to also.

  • Pamela Gurganus

    This was a very interesting read. I know that in the past I’ve turned down being a member of the bridal party because of cost. There has also been a couple of times that my husband and I didn’t attend weddings because we couldn’t financially afford it. Especially when we had to tie in the money it would have cost us to travel to the weddings.

  • Tamra Phelps

    I’ve definitely missed weddings because of the cost of attending! If more than one wedding is coming up, you have to choose between them, too, due to cost & that can lead to hurt feelings!

  • KATE SARSFIELD

    AND have you noticed that all of your friends seem get married in the same year so you can’t really wear the same outfit. Here in Ireland weddings were huge bashes but with the economic crisis thankfully most are now small family affairs with friends invited for the ‘afters’ dance.

  • Huguette E.

    Great article! Congrats to your daughter and new son-in-law! The cost is crazy, it seems locally at lot are just having a small intimate wedding for family and close friends, with the big dance party in the evening for invited guests.

  • Reginald Chan

    Hey!

    Great article and thanks for sharing. I love (and support) the idea of sharing the wedding cost. If you are going to live your life together, I don’t see the point of a single party paying.

    After all, that’s what marriage is all about right (hint: cooperation) 😀

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